Vacation from Life

There is something so weird about taking a vacation from your life unexpectedly. There is an all bets are off, fly by the seat of your pants, throw caution to the wind, and 400 other cliches to describe my current situation. It is as if the world is going on without me and I am in some happy place, absent yet exempt from responsibility. Not that I at all endorse undergoing oral surgery to obtain a few minutes to one's self, it is nonetheless a great surprise. I have a schedule on my refrigerator and there is something so satisfying in not being in any of those places. It's funny because this break is something that I would not have done on my own, it was exactly what I needed to force myself to take a break from it all. My boyfriend and I were joking that I am the sort of person that would limp my way out the door to work or class if it were up to me. This inconvenience has been a break most needed and appreciated despite the over achiever in me screaming "think of everything you are missing" and "you are missing wayyy too much work, young lady"- yes, I do have a patronizing inner voice. Patronizing yet essential to my everyday existence in this crazy, over worked, over scheduled, underpaid situation I like to call my existence as a graduate student. 

P.S. As I was grabbing my computer to type up this bit of brilliant insight into life, I tripped on the wooden foot of my sofa and all of my toes went numb. Even though it hurt so bad, and I was really irritated, all I could do is hold my laptop for dear life and hop around the room laughing. Maybe another purpose of injuries is to remind myself that it is all not that serious. 

Things That Make Me Happy

Things that make me happy:

1. chewing without discomfort

2. ice cream after doctor's appointments

3. unexpected time off

4. great friends

5. writing

6. snuggling in my comforter

7. sleeping in

8. waking up in a good mood

9. being productive

10. old comfy sweaters

Jobs, School, and the Emergency Room

    Considering how incredibly busy I have been lately, I am surprised to find myself for the most part happy. I have just recently taken on another job, which despite all of the hard labor (unloading over 2,000 boxes) and long hours, I actually enjoy. The management and team members are really great and I feel like I am learning a lot and thinking about books in new ways.  I find myself in some sort of nerdy stupor to be surrounded by both an amazing quantity of books at my disposal but also other employees that share similar interests outside of academia. I am still of course enjoying my other job at the writing center and value my time with the students, as it is a small precious window describing what is to come in my teaching career. I am also really enjoying my classes this semester, if not always the material- I really appreciate the teaching. I believe that the professors are invested in the students which always inspires me to be better. 

      Today I had to go to the emergency room and tomorrow I have to go to the dentist to try to rid myself of this horrible mouth pain due to an emerging wisdom tooth- which I am sure if I was not medicated I would try to turn into some sort of statement about life, or the pursuit of knowledge but after three different types of medications we shall leave that as it stands.  I feel that the combination of this craziness, the jobs, the stress, school and paper writing would normally really defeat me, if not discourage me, but I am feeling surprisingly strong and content. There is something so gratifying in overcoming obstacles and learning to stand on your own two feet (when you are perhaps not nearly fainting due to vertigo related to tooth complications). It gives me confidence in my decision to continue my studies, even though it is so costly, because it is what I love. I feel like this unexpected surge in strength has come from believing that this career is what I really want, and if it takes two jobs and no sleep to achieve it-then that will be my path and the result will be all the more rewarding. I also believe that the friendships I have made have really inspired me to be better and to have courage to continue this dream.

     Thanks to everyone for believing in me and perhaps teaching me to believe in myself.

My very first blog!

Ok, so maybe my first blog is a little anti-climatic despite the exciting title complete with exclamation point. I am so tired after this week that I feel like creating the blog in itself was enough for one day. There are so many things to consider: what to say, what not to say, whether or not I will hate my url later and wonder why I chose it. Mainly I created this blog to be entirely self indulgent- mostly to clear my head and type out my lists which are getting ridiculously long these days. One such list:

    * Read Faerie Queen (while resisting the urge to throw it over the balcony)

    * Review articles for presentation

    * Prepare paper to meet with professor Kroll

    * Work a ridiculous amount of hours

    * Remember the gym??? 

    * Argue with credit card company

    * Sleep

The good new is, despite being very busy, i am enjoying school, work and friends. Stay tuned to see if I can survive the madness!!!